The Survivors
by Demeter1
Summary: The people who survived after the death of James and Lily Potter. The ones who saw Sirius Black go laughing to Azkaban. The stories of those left behind. COMPLETED
1. Petunia Dursley

Title: "The Survivors: Petunia Dursley" Author: Demeter 

Warnings: Petunia POV. Post James/Lily death

Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Harry Potter are trademarks and property of J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Brothers, Bloomsbury Books, Raincoast Books and associated parties. The author claims no legal responsibility for problems associated with using this work. No money is being made and copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The original story and characters and relationships within the fic are copyright of Demeter.

~*~*~*~*~*~

They were dead. 

My sister and her husband were dead. 

The only thing they left behind was their boy, that boy Harry. And a few pictures that had moving people in it. I knew those pictures. Lily had shown me once in a while, when we hadn't been fighting. 

And they were moving.

The picture of Lily and her husband and several other people I didn't recognize. One had a mass of thick black hair, obviously uncombed. Another was small and fat; his mother didn't have very good etiquette. And the last was so skinny and bone-like; must be cursed. I knew none of them… didn't want to know in fact. 

Vernon had said good riddance; that the world was cleaner with the two of them gone. Normally, I would have agreed. Because I hated her. Hated her and her kind. Abnormal, sickening, _evil_. They had done nothing but cause trouble for mother, father, and me. 

And they still loved her better than me. 

I could tell.

They didn't pay attention to any of my achievements. I had hundreds of friends who were clamoring to be part of my exclusive group. My beauty was flawless, next to none. I was the bloody May Queen! I even had the richest boy in school paying attention to me. 

They still didn't do much but pat me on the head. 

I had always hated her. She monopolized their attention, stealing the limelight that rightfully belonged to me. It had always been Lily this and Lily that. 

Never Petunia. 

They even forsake my fifteenth birthday in order to celebrate her acceptance into _that_ school. 

But…

I can't help but look at the pictures again.

Why?

I don't know.

Maybe because even after all that, she was still… she was still my only sister. The only other person that shared the same genetic plans as me. The only woman whose blood flowed the same as mine.

And she was dead. 

Those words sound so strange. 

Vernon had always said that whoever dies, it means they deserved it in some way. He never elaborated, but I suspect that he also had some wiz--- freakish relatives also. He never liked me talking about Lily. 

He never even wanted me to mention her name.

I try not to, but when she's the person I've hated my whole life, it's hard not to rant on.

There I go again; my fingers are actually touching her face. I'm so worthless sometimes. It's not as if I actually ever liked her. She was just there. And then she married that man… what was his name? Oh yes, James Potter. Horrid, simple, and disgustingly abnormal name. 

And they produced a kid… a kid called Harry. 

Nothing like by darling Dudley. 

And _he_ had to have _her_ eyes. Those green shades of hers that echoed in my own eyes. I was always proud that my eyes were a more *normal* green. Hers was a dark, dangerous green that everyone gushed were like emeralds.

Cheap baubles, if you ask me. 

But I'm getting off the point. 

'They' had brought Harry and left him on our doorstep, like some package to be taken care of. Mind you, I don't like the little brat at all, but it's something cruel to leave a baby on a doorstep in the middle of the night.

So here he was. 

Vernon had wanted to put him in the orphanage immediately, but for once, I put my foot down. He was, after all, one of our relatives. I didn't want anybody nosing their little nasty curiosity in our lives. It would ruin both of us if it went out that we abandoned a baby in an orphanage. 

Ruin all of us.

Dudders doesn't like Harry all that much. He wouldn't touch Harry for the first week; after that, he would poke Harry at every chance he got. Normally I would just let him be; the little tyke needed some sort of release of frustration that surely came out of having to share the house with one of _her_ kind. 

But again, I stopped him when he got too rough. The boy, after all, was still a baby. I couldn't let anything really bad happen to him. Just little things that may leave a bruise here and there, nothing more. 

Besides, Dudley is a lot smarter than the boy. He knows how bizarre Harry is.

And once again, I realize that Lily's dead. 

Dead and left us with a baby that's nothing like us. 

How am I supposed to raise Lily's son? 

The brat's nothing like any of us; trying to make him like us will only bring shame on the family. Treating him the same as Dudders would only spoil the little monster. A moment of kindness and the entire flock of vultures would descend, if you know what I mean. 

He has the same eyes as her. 

The same green, intense eyes as _her. _

I find myself picking Harry up, using flimsy excuses, in order to stare into those eyes. Because, after all, they were green. And they were hers. 

_You have eyes like your mothers. _

Lily's eyes were in there. And somehow, I couldn't bring myself to poke out those eyes with the butcher knife, like I've always wanted to do since we were little. No, correction, ever since she turned eleven and received that blasted letter. 

This was _their_ fault. 

That infernal school, that bloody _boarding_ school called 'Hogwarts'. 

If they hadn't insisted on making her a… _witch_. Then none of this would have happened. If they hadn't insisted on taking my baby little sister… none of this would have happened. If they hadn't taken _her_, I would be sitting right now in the kitchen, drinking our tea together, gossiping about our husbands. 

And she wouldn't be married to that freak, Potter. 

Her eyes were green.

Lily had Harry's eyes. Or Harry had Lily's eyes. Either way, they were despicable. Horribly, horribly, despicable.

I hated that Potter.                                                                                              

And Lily too.

But, then again, they were dead.

~*~ FINIS ~*~

I don't particularly like Petunia Dursley, but she did have her sister die on her. There are few people in the world who can say with absolute truth that they wouldn't care if someone of their blood died. It would be horribly callous to even say that she wouldn't care.

Anyhoo, they *did* take care of Harry when they could have given him away to the orphanage.


	2. Remus Lupin

Title: "The Survivors: Remus Lupin" 

Author: Demeter

Warnings: Angst, Remus POV, post James-Lily death. Spoilers for all four books

Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Harry Potter are trademarks and property of J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Brothers, Bloomsbury Books, Raincoast Books and associated parties. The author claims no legal responsibility for problems associated with using this work. No money is being made and copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The original story and characters and relationships within the fic are copyright of Demeter.

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

They were dead.

James… and Lily too. 

They were dead… 

Each lying in a dark, chilly grave, each unaware that they had once been breathing, happy.

It's funny in a way. Ironic in another. I'm a werewolf; we're not known for our long life spans. And yet, here I am, still alive while so many were dead, all in the space of one horrible, life-changing night. 

I survived James who died first, pushing Lily and Harry to flee while he held _Him_ back. I survived Lily who died protecting her only flesh and blood, her only son. I survived even Peter who had gone after that *traitor* and perished in his foolhardy but brave attempt to avenge James and Lily. 

And undoubtedly, I would survive Sirius… already hauled off to Azkaban. I had heard horror stories of that place. Dementors at every turn, sucking all the goodness… if there had been any left in that backstabbing blackened heart of his.

Oh, Sirius, *why*?

Why did you betray all of us? You didn't want power. I know that. You didn't need money. I know that also… Then _why?_ Why Sirius? Why would you do this to us? You had betrayed me once; if you had done it again to _me_, I would have not blamed you. 

I am a beast, a _dark creature_ after all.

But James, Sirius, James! 

He was _your_ best friend! Above all, he trusted _you_most. If there had been anyone, anyone at all of us four I would have been certain to betray the rest, it would have been _me_. I was the dark creature. _I_ was the evil one… Why? 

Why was it you?

And now, all of them, all three are dead. James lying there, his face twisted into a horrific realization of betrayal. Lily, her body unmarked, her eyes still wet with the unshed tears. Undoubtedly, still in shock about your impossible betrayal.

Peter, the only part of him found that was whole was his finger… 

Weren't we the Marauders, Sirius? 

I sat numbly for days after the funeral, after what would be the very last time I saw Harry. God, Sirius. Harry. Do you know he already resembles James? He has the same mop of thick, black hair. The fingers and limbs move quickly… l imagined him to be a seeker of some sort… in Hogwarts if all goes well. 

But then, I won't know for a long time, will I? I'm forbidden to go anywhere near him for the time being. Dumbledore has decided it best that he not have any contact with the wizarding world for that duration and that includes me. 

Me, of all people. Moony. I can't see Harry… 

The world is delighting in the fact that Voldemort's gone, celebrating that Harry, a baby, had managed to get rid of him. 

Many blather about you and how shocking it was. The ones who knew you well in Hogwarts are privately mourning, not daring to show their grief publicly. _They_ do not grieve only for James, Lily, and Peter… but also for you. 

Because in a way, Sirius Black *did* die. 

Sirius, you don't know how much it hurts. Why? I ask that so many times, that the edges have started to wear thin. No one, most of all me, can comprehend just why you would betray us. James and Lily dead… Peter murdered… 

Why you? 

It bothers me. I can only admit so far. It bothers me how you could have started changing without any of us noticing. How you could have been able to sink so deeply into the very dark arts you vocally insisted that you despised without James or Peter or me _noticing_. 

How?

The wizarding world was quick to refute you and all who had known you only on the most frivolous of levels when we were in school swiftly produced 'evidence' of how and why you could and would have turned. 

They told me over and over how you were a bastard in Hogwarts. How you teased and made fun of the smallest and the most defenseless. 

Strangely… or perhaps not so much, the ones who truly suffered at your hands don't speak ill of you. One would have thought at least one Slytherin or another would be willing to display all your evil deeds into the sunlight… but it is the Hufflepuffs, the Ravenclaws, and the Gryffindors who betray you. 

The ones who truly knew you nursed their feelings of either exhilaration or pain privately. 

I… I know you were not the best, but those stories, no matter how true, were in _your_ heart, just pranks. Even the near slaying of Severus, the one prank I would have killed myself if it succeeded, was merely another feat, another day. 

They keep insisting that you led us all on. 

That you had been a Death Eater your whole young life…

In a way, I'm glad your parents had died early. They would have been spared the humiliation and suffering of knowing their only son, their beautiful and perfect son, had been someone of heartless humanity all this time. 

I mean, even I can't believe it, and I had experienced it once first-hand. 

There are many still in disbelief, Padfoot… they whisper that if even _you_ could turn, who else would be safe? We stare at each other with barely cloaked suspicion, wondering whether truly, the Dark Side is so safe from us. 

We might easily be sullied too. 

At this point, the words of Severus come back to me, taunting me during the long nights when I realize with dulling clarity, that I no longer have any of my Marauder friends. 

Black betrayed you once; he'll betray you again… and when he does, I'll laugh, I'll laugh as I watch you weep about his treachery.

But Severus has his own battles. He attended the funeral but didn't even approach me. We saw each other once, and it was after we bumped and for a glorious moment, I had thought he would speak to me… but he came and left quickly… and I still wonder if perhaps you hadn't set us up Sirius, that I might have been able to cry in comforting arms, _his_ arms. 

Sirius, once again, I have to ask, *why*?

But it's useless to ask you anymore. You're in Azkaban…

And James, Lily, and Peter are dead.

~*~ FINIS ~*~

Remus, Remus, Remus. I like his character and I think he's one of the 'gray' characters in the Harry Potter world. He's very much like Severus Snape in a way. (Which is why I enjoy the two as a couple.) 

Of all 'The Survivors', I think I feel the most for Remus. He had four good friends. Really good friends. Excellent friends. And all three died at the hands of the fourth. Pretty hard and tough if you think about it. He basically has no more allies, no more people who know about his lycanthropy and  who don't care. He's alone… AGAIN. *sigh*


	3. Peter Pettigrew

Title: "The Survivors: Peter Pettigrew" 

Author: Demeter  
Warnings: Peter sympathetic and POV. Angst, post James-Lily death. 

Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Harry Potter are trademarks and property of J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Brothers, Bloomsbury Books, Raincoast Books and associated parties. The author claims no legal responsibility for problems associated with using this work. No money is being made and copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The original story and characters and relationships within the fic are copyright of Demeter.

~*~*~*~*~*~

They were dead

Good riddance, I thought I would say.

Thank heavens, I reflected would be my feelings.

But just this gnawing hole, the endless specters of pain that haunts me, that circles me endlessly as I try to forget that I, their Judas, betrayed them for my own power, my own wealth. 

My own life. 

I am a coward. 

A coward who is alive.

But a coward nevertheless. 

Tis strange, isn't it? When we were in school, I had thought foolishly, the way only young schoolboys can dream, that we would be together for all eternity. That James would marry Lily, while the three of us, the ones who seemed to be destined toward bachelorhood, would live in flats or houses around them, our doors connected by invisible hallways, no doors ever closed, no lights ever darkened. 

So that we would always be able to find the way home.

And no. 

It didn't happen. 

Things changed. 

I changed. 

I had sworn to myself, up and down, side-to-side, that I would never let myself be tainted by the dark, that I would never allow my petty jealousies to ruin anything the four of us have… had.

I agreed that James was better than me in Quidditch, that Sirius was infinitely more popular then me with the girls, and that Remus was smarter than I could ever hope to be. I allowed myself to acknowledge and even accept all these unlikable nuances of myself. 

I had admitted to all that and beyond. I was never jealous; at least, I _felt_ I was never so. 

What a liar I am.

I was. 

Jealous, I mean. 

Every time I saw James and Lily exchange a gooey glance, a lance of rage sprinted through me. Each occasion I cheered Sirius on in a Quidditch match, I cursed in my mind the unjustness of our positions. Whenever I saw Remus gain another stunning accolade for one accomplishment or another, I gritted my teeth even as I grinned my wide and 'innocent' beam. 

It's hard to remember when I first started consciously realizing that I was deathly jealous.

The cold, terrifying truths started leaking out, seeping from my carefully guarded inner demons. I did not think that I was conscious until James smoothed out a little furrow in my brow and jokingly asked if I was green-eyed. Asked me what made my face wrinkle up so?

At that moment, I knew. 

I despised them and their accomplishments. There was rarely a moment when I didn't seethe in the broiling pettiness. (A pun I would have liked to ignore) I avoided them for several days after finding out that a Gryffindor like me, sweet, naïve little Peter Pettigrew actually could suffer one of the seven cardinal sins; envy. 

That transgression had been solely reserved for those we thought to be envious of the solid relationship the four of us had.

Shell-shocked. 

Despicable. 

I loathed _myself_ for being so weak… but I loathed them also for being so blind. 

They *should* have been there to help me. They *should* have prevented the dark taint to wrap its arms around me. They *should* have known that the _other_ side always started with the weakest and worked their way up the corporate ladder, so to speak.

But they _didn't_. 

They figured me as an innocent, a small, ineffectual character who would have no relevance in the future, in the war, in _their_ lives. I was just another friend, perhaps a bit closer because I shared secrets no one else knew. That I kept secrets that no one else could guess. 

Animagi. I was the last of the three of us to change. It was hard. Very, very hard. But anything for them.

_Anything_. 

Envy changed all that. I was marked, soiled, annexed. No longer could I plead purity and virtue. I was a dirty little whore who sold out his friends for power and money. 

Judas sold Jesus for thirty silver pieces. 

What an idiot. He should have asked for more. I did and look where it almost got me. A right-hand position in Voldemort's court. Wealth beyond my dreams. Power always at my grasp. The ability to satisfy anything and everything I fancied or craved. 

I didn't turn merely because I hated them. If it were only that, I could have controlled the rage, the sickening lurches in my stomach. I was strong in that way. No matter what life tossed me, I could endure for the most part. 

But no… I wanted _more_. I wanted a life, the life, _their_ lives. 

I should have demanded immunity. 

Where betraying James and Lily to Voldemort *really* got me was the prospect of living out the rest of my life as a rat. A stinking, lowly rat that has no possibility of a future because that damned Sirius Black insisted on using ME as the secret keeper. 

And I had thought *I* was the dumb, naïve one here. 

Sirius of all of us was the biggest fool. He didn't trust Remus enough to tell him about the switching of roles. He was sure that Remus was the one who would turn, the one who was traitor. 

Bullocks to that. 

Remus was the only one of us who wouldn't _ever_ turn. 

Why would he turn?

When so easily I could?

But then again, I was their Judas. I was their traitor. I was their dead hero. 

While James and Lily were dead. 

~*~ FINIS ~*~

I don't particularly care for Peter… but there has to be something about him that put him Gryffindor. There had to be some sort of quality about him that allowed Sirius and James to become such good friends with him. It's unlikely that they would have allowed just anyone to hang onto their group. 

They wouldn't have befriended Peter just because they pitied him. They're smarter and wiser than that. (Well, maybe James; Sirius is very debatable) There had to be *something* honorable about the boy. 

And in the end, I felt a tad bit of sympathy. Everyone starts out innocent, including Voldemort. No baby or child wishes to kill; they do not have the knowledge of what death and mayhem cause. They are innocent. It is through circumstances, experiences, grudges, relations, etcetera. I believe that there had to be a spark of bravery, goodness, chivalry that landed him in Gryffindor. 

The line, "I, their Judas" actually came from another fic that utilized Ron in an AU HP fic where he betrayed Harry and Hermione. I can't quite remember what fic it was, but I loved that line, and therefore incorporated it into this fic, because I thought it fit very well with Peter's character.  


	4. Minerva McGonagall

Title: "The Survivors: Minerva McGonagall" Author: Demeter Warnings: Post James and Lily death. McGonagall POV. Angst. Dark 

Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Harry Potter are trademarks and property of J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Brothers, Bloomsbury Books, Raincoast Books and associated parties. The author claims no legal responsibility for problems associated with using this work. No money is being made and copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The original story and characters and relationships within the fic are copyright of Demeter.

~*~*~*~*~*~ 

They were dead.

Throughout much of my life, I was very sure that I would become a professor when I 'grew up' and entered the fray of the wizarding world. I enjoyed teaching children, loved seeing the smiles on their faces when they realized that they had gotten a transfiguration right. 

Children were my life. 

No less James and Lily. They were some of my best students ever, not counting Severus Snape, Remus Lupin, and Lucius Malfoy. Lily had a natural knack of accomplishing anything that had to do with solid, safe magic. James had an inner drive to succeed at Transfiguration, was even interested in Animagus transformations. 

Both Remus and Severus had a special knack with the Dark Arts and Lucius was even better at it than them. Severus controlled the Potions scores as much as he controlled his emotions. He was the best, the smartest, the most agile-minded potions student we've ever had. Peter may not have been able to beat anyone in any class… but his exuberance and sweetness more than made up for his lack of skills.

But… these _children_ of mine seem to be cursed. They, of all the generations, seem to suffer the most, each in their own way, each horrifying beyond any sort of description. 

Severus tortured and emotionally scarred for life. Lucius, a member of the elite Death Eaters, once a pale, young boy who smiled. Remus, abandoned, alone, forever doomed to walk in the dirt and shadows. James, Peter, even Lily, dead. And Sirius.

Betrayer! 

How could he? How could he have stood the guilt, have lived with himself long enough to persuade James and Lily to trust him so implicitly, so truthfully, so easily? How could he have betrayed such unfailing loyalty?

And Sirius.

My Gryffindor bad boy. 

Or ex-Gryffindor bad boy. Once the smoke had cleared and the horror of the betrayal revealed, it was the general consensus that we should strike his name from the annals of Gryffindor history. That we would forget that Sirius Black ever existed. 

Fools.

We can never forget. 

He is what we all fear. That our own goodness can be easily tainted, sapped, waned if we looked away for one moment, if we closed our eyes to sleep for one night. Because that was what he was. Sirius Black? Traitor? Never! Better a Slytherin or a Hufflepuff or even a Ravenclaw! Never, ever a Gryffindor!

But then we showed everyone, didn't we? Gryffindors *could* be evil. Gryffindors *could* turn like everyone else. The Slytherins do not laugh. They do not taunt us. They do not even acknowledge Sirius Black, because to them, they had been expecting a betrayal, any sort of betrayal. They knew how it felt to fall, how it felt to be outcasts. 

And they knew. They knew that eventually, a Gryffindor would defect. And then, only then, would they be able to shed tears over the years of damnation and insults that had driven many of them into the waiting arms of You-Know-Who. 

Only then. 

Only then did we realize that all those years of merciless teasing Sirius had submitted so many Slytherins too was a design of his. He had _wanted_ them to feel outcast from Hogwarts! He had _wanted_ them to feel that they should turn to Voldemort and no one else! He had managed to trick all of us into accepting all his insults, pranks, jokes as just that; _pranks._

And here I had always thought Sirius was smart but illogical. 

He was logical. Even calmly rational. How could we have not seen it? Seen the darkness in those eyes of his, in the intensely beautiful features of his face? We should have known that no one could be that lovely without any sort of repercussion.

He grew arrogant. 

Damn him. Damn Sirius Black! He fooled us all! Fooled us all into thinking that since he was in Gryffindor, that everything was alright, that he could be arrogant like Severus without repercussions, that he could make Slytherins suffer because they were 'dark and slimy and unreliable'. We thought he could do all that, and in the end, everything would be okay. 

Our trust was so foolishly and easily given. How could we?

How could we have trusted that bastard, that evil fiend, that *traitor*? 

The funerals. The funerals had been long, weary, pain-filled. I had never seen so many people age more in a week then in ten years. The ones who had known you and the rest of Marauders in the days of Hogwarts, would not, could not cry. They grieved, mourned, but the pain was too intense to cry. Only those who knew any of you superficially gasped out their sobs loudly. 

How could _they_ feel the pain?

The knowledge that we, that we had been the ones to be led around by the nose, that we were the ones to push the Slytherins into the waiting arms of Voldemort, that we were the ones that in the end, caused the death of James, Lily and Peter? If we hadn't been so trusting, we wouldn't have needed to see Sirius laughing as they hauled him off to Azkaban.

Remus had gone into a semi-state of shock. No wonder. In one night, the poor boy had lost all his friends at either death or to prison. It had been the agreement that he not have anything to do with the funeral. 

Harry had been there. 

He had no idea of course.

And those… abominable muggles. It's muggles like those that give other muggles bad names. Most are very good, wonderful to those who are different. But they are the reasons why Death Eaters hate them. 

And we wonder why muggle-born are so detested. 

Severus had been there too. He came and left without a word, staring at the graves for a long time. I knew better than anyone how much he hated… well, more disliked James. He saved his hate for Sirius Black. And rightly so. I cannot believe that all those shrieked accusations and whispered words were true. That Sirius really would turn, that Sirius was truly the evil one between the two.

And during some nights, when it's especially dark, when I hear the exuberant celebrating, I wonder whether I should have been able to something. I was their professor, not their Head of House yet… but I was a Gryffindor. I was a professor of transfiguration. I *should* have known *something*. It's hard to understand how no one noticed, how no one saw him slowly grow into a Voldemort supporter. 

I don't understand. He was always so adamantly against the Dark Arts… one of the reasons he hated Severus so much. Sirius was the 'shining star' of Gryffindor. He played Quidditch like a pro, was extremely popular with the girls… was popular period. He did well in school, came from a family of standing and wealth. After his parents passed away, he inherited a fortune that would have kept him for the rest of his life… 

He had no need to go to Voldemort. 

Others went for power, money, ambition, even revenge… But why would he switch? He needed none of those things.

And I have to admit, even now, even as I condemn him, I don't think I truly believe Sirius betrayed us. There has to be circumstances. Reasons. Beliefs. But then why would Peter go after him? Surely, if Sirius were innocent, Peter would not have attempted suicide by chasing after a more experienced wizard who was far more powerful than he would ever be. 

I know my Peter. He would never wrongfully accuse others. 

Sirius. You bastard. You traitor. You…

But does it really matter anymore? 

They're dead either way. 

~*~ FINIS ~*~

Minerva McGonagall, from the movie and what I've read, I gather would be a young teacher when MWPP and Severus were in Hogwarts. She's somewhat new to the whole teaching thing, and I would think that she would unconsciously favor the Gryffindors over the Slytherins who I think get a pretty shoddy place in life. BIG Slytherin fan right here. ^__^

Anyway, I bet she would have been shocked that Sirius would have betrayed them. She can't get past the idea that Sirius would have managed to fool them all so easily. Of course, Peter was rather smart too; he fooled everyone, including Dumbledore. Pretty amazing for a guy that everyone calls a fat, useless crybaby. 

Demeter


	5. Albus Dumbledore

Title: "The Survivors: Albus Dumbledore"

Author: Demeter

Warnings: Post James and Lily death. Spoilers for all four books. POV of Dumbledore

Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Harry Potter are trademarks and property of J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Brothers, Bloomsbury Books, Raincoast Books and associated parties. The author claims no legal responsibility for problems associated with using this work. No money is being made and copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The original story and characters and relationships within the fic are copyright of Demeter.

~*~*~*~*~*~

They were dead.

I feel the age-old weariness creep up on me again. There are times I yearn; I just wish that I wasn't the 'Invincible Dumbledore'. That I could be allowed to weep in public about the tragic loss that devastated while it saved our community in one single, destroying act. 

Voldemort was gone.

But James and Lily were dead… betrayed by Sirius Black. 

How could I have not seen it? How could I have not *known* that Sirius Black had betrayed us… because I still can't believe it. How could _Sirius_ of all people turn his back on us? Like Minerva said, he would have been the last one I would thought to be part of the side of Voldemort.

But no. 

He violated all our trusts. He betrayed James and Lily, caused their deaths. He killed Peter who had run after him in an attempt to avenge the two. My poor Peter… dead, without a further chance at a long and healthy life that surely would have been his if he had been allowed to live. 

The look in his mother's eyes as she realized that her only child was irrevocably gone made me curse at whatever evil had pushed Sirius into committing such a grievous error. 

Sirius Black…?

I cannot believe that Sirius was the one. That he was the one to betray James and Lily. Of all of them… never him, never Sirius Black.

James, how did you feel at that point? When you realized that Voldemort _could_ find you, even when that was supposed to be impossible? Did the realization sink in that Sirius had betrayed your… or did you die before even contemplating that Sirius, of all people, would turn his back on you. 

The wedding had been a beautiful event. You had insisted on inviting even Severus Snape… but of course, he had disappeared by then. Even I had no idea where he had gone. Due to his position, we had both agreed that unless he contacted me, it would be far too risky to communicate. He was the one who had come rushing to me and warned that there was a traitor and that you would be killed. 

My James. 

My Lily.

I wonder if I had insisted on making myself the Secret Keeper, if I had perhaps noticed how much Sirius had changed without anyone, not even James, noticing, if I had _just_, for once, taken the choice into my hands instead of always leaving them to the children. 

I had thought that they needed to make the choices themselves… but that was a mistake on my part. A mistake that cost us James and Lily… Sirius and Peter too. The only one left alive after that night would be Remus and Severus of the crowd that had walked through the halls best. 

My Remus. His life will be one of hardship and despair. The doors have shut and closed on his future. At the moment, I cannot do anything for him. Perhaps later… later.

Later.

If I had been _earlier_. Then none of this would have happened. Now that I've placed Harry at his relative's home, I'm plagued with doubts about what I've done. If… If anything, _anything_ goes wrong, Harry might not be able to survive. 

And then, truly, I feel that I may lose all hope in our future.

I can admit my sins now. Now that you're dead, James. You, Remus, Peter, Sirius, you four were indeed favorites of mine. Not because you were Gryffindors. No. It was because I could feel, absorb, and revel in the very liveliness of your auras. In all the darkness that surrounded our daily lives, you four were bright and shining. 

Even when I despaired, you four could still be children. 

But… did I do it at the expense of others? Did I allow you four the free rein throughout Hogwarts that cost us other students of Hogwarts, especially the Slytherins? I wanted to keep the most dangerous house by my side, so that even if they were raised among the Dark Arts, they still could be allowed, in the end, to choose. But… Gryffindor house hated Slytherins. 

And no more than you four.

Did I do the right thing by not defending those countless Slytherin students who came up to me shrieking accusations and pleading for justice?

Muggles have a saying that reminds us that hindsight is _always_ twenty-twenty. 

And in this aftermath of sorrow, I realize, I had made many mistakes in handling the seven years. Perhaps if Sirius had not been so sure of himself, that I had not indulged his teasing, his pranks, his cruel jokes, then he wouldn't have been so confident in going to the dark side and then betraying James and Lily.

How could I have been so blind?

How could I be Albus Dumbledore when I, myself, could not even protect the most beloved of our side? How can be the protector, the Headmaster, the savior, when in the end, I had let so many die and suffer needlessly?

_It's not your fault, Headmaster._

Thank you Severus, but it was mine for not leading Sirius right. He could not, would not have been a Death Eater at the young and tender age of eleven. Which means, sometime during the period when he was a first year and seventh year, _something_ went wrong. And if it had nothing to do with arrogance, I'll eat the sorting hat. 

If… _If_ I had punished him suitably for what he did to Severus during their fifth year… would he have… would Severus have… would any of this have happened? I doubt myself when I cannot afford to doubt. Voldemort is _not_ dead. How could he die so easily? I do not dissuade the jubilant celebrations… but I could not join in, for I knew, for Severus knew, that we were not alone. Voldemort would come back. Stronger than before. 

If not even more so. 

I had failed. 

Failed every single one of them. Student after student. Child after child. They suffered for my thoughts, my mistakes, my wrongs. I was supposed to protect them, save them… but when the choice came down between Slytherin and Gryffindor… I chose Gryffindor. I, who always claimed to be absolutely fair, was prejudiced against the one house who needed me most. 

Lily, my dear girl. Harry has your eyes. That is hope. The hope that shines in those emerald-like eyes that flash when he's cranky, that light up at seeing a familiar face. Remus cannot understand why I have banned all the wizards who knew Harry from keeping in touch with him. But I have observed Petunia Dursley. And even if you didn't want Harry brought up by them, I am cautiously hopeful that this will steel him for the adulation and hardships in the future. 

_Headmaster. The Dark Mark remains…_

When Severus told me that, I knew… as long as the Dark Mark continues to stain his arm, I will know that Voldemort remains in this world. A spirit, a force, a soulless demon. Whatever it is, he _remains._

Over and over, I wonder.

Whether I have made the right choices, for the community, for the world… for the children. 

In the end, I believe firmly that I did. For Voldemort was temporarily gone. Many were able to move on with their lives. Many could survive again. 

And I cannot weep, for if I do, then no one will be able to believe that there is hope. And if there is no hope, then the battles of the future will be useless. We will lose. Therefore, as the pain remains, I will remain my Headmaster Dumbledore. 

Even as I mourn for James, Lily, Peter, Remus, Severus… and yes, even Sirius. 

~*~ FINIS ~*~

Dumbledore deserves so much credit in being the Headmaster he is. Willing to see good in evil, always patient, always forgiving. I just hope that Draco and Pansy and as many Slytherins possible will turn to him for guidance like Severus, instead of going to Voldemort. 

It looks like I'm going at about a chapter per week. Sorry about the slow pacing!

Thanks to my reviewers for the last four chapters!

Lark: Thanks! I always love praise cause it keeps my ego inflated. ^__^ I pity Peter, so I can play nice with him. If he had been in say, another house, I might not have been so sympathetic. But I believe there was good in him. 

Katherine aka Star: Tom Riddle went to an orphanage and look where it took him. Tom Riddle and Voldemort are two different people in my mind. One was the frightened, bitter child who wanted to succeed. The other is a sadistic, evil monster that's forgotten about being human. And I'm not saying Petunia was perfect. Far from it. The way she treated Harry was despicable… but every older sister has her doubts, her pains, her own evils. I'm the oldest myself and in a way, I can sympathize with her. Evil can be described on several degrees. The Dursleys… well, they're just idiotic. Not really evil. But that's just my own viewpoint! Thanks for reviewing!

Lee: Thanks for reviewing both parts! ^_^ I live for reviews!

Rae: I was happy that someone was intrigued by the points. It makes the time I spent writing it worth it. 

Incitata: Thanks! Making someone feel sorry about a character they previously may not have cared for is the biggest compliment anyone can give me!

Her2eternity: From the angst-queen herself; I'm going off to shriek giddily and smile smugly. Your fics on "The Lover's Quartet" has been my favorite of all dark, angsty stories and it's wonderful to hear you liking my fics! Rewiring a chapter of Harm? Now I know I'm going to die waiting for March!

Gramarye: Delving into their psyches is my favorite thing to do. Fanfiction writers are the "Gods" of Harry Potter. ^__^ Thanks for reviewing!


	6. Severus Snape

Title: "The Survivors – Severus Snape" 

Author: Demeter

Warnings: Post death of James and Lily. Severus POV. Dark. Angst. Hints of slash between RL/SS.

Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Harry Potter are trademarks and property of J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Brothers, Bloomsbury Books, Raincoast Books and associated parties. The author claims no legal responsibility for problems associated with using this work. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The original story and characters and relationships within the fic are copyright of Demeter.

~*~*~*~*~*~

They were dead.

James Potter was dead. Lily Evans was dead. They were dead.

And I'm here, standing alive while they're gone. Perished. Sacrificed. Whatever it is, I'm… The words that scream out their death and the defeat of Voldemort still waver. I don't understand. I can't understand. 

Black… I _hated_ him. I still _hate_ him. But I cannot believe that he, of all people, would betray the Potters. He wouldn't. I am almost certain…

Then why in the hell…?

I don't forget. I will never forget that he was the one who nearly caused my death and still got nothing but a slap on the wrist. I won't forget the humiliation of seeing James Potter save my worthless life and then get congratulated for it, not even having the inkling that he should have just. Let. Me. Die. I'll never forget that Remus had lured me with sweet words, all the while hiding the fact that he was a _werewolf, a monster._

Betrayal of the most wonderful, damning sort. Sirius Black. James Potter. 

I had told Re – No! Lupin! – Lupin once that Sirius Black would betray them again and when he does, I would laugh, I would then laugh to claim back all my sufferings that had went on in his filthy hands. I would laugh bitterly.

The moment has come.

Yet I do not laugh.

I can only wonder dully how everyone could be so wrong. So _very wrong about Sirius Black_. I have seen my mentor, my savior, my salvation cry in the quiet of his office, knowing that once this fleeting chance was over, he would never be able to shed tears again. He could never show his own grief for the death of his – sneer – golden Gryffindors again, because everyone was supposed to cheer. He knew he had to stand strong in the aftermath of what would prove to be a parade of ugly trials and cries of unending justice.

Perdition and purgatory wasn't over for me yet. 

In ways, I envy them. 

Envy them that they could die and leave this world without having to worry about anything else. I can never rest. Not until Voldemort leaves this world forever, not until my endless sins are atoned for… which they will _never be_. I had allowed their fates to rest in Sirius Black's hands when I knew, I knew of his evil, his darkness, and his laughable tendency to betray those closest to him. 

Remus could have killed me that night.

Worse.

He would have destroyed himself also. Expulsion from Hogwarts, imprisonment in Azkaban, execution, these would have all happened. One after another.

Remus.

Hating him. Hating myself. It was all the same. I was a beast, a monster, a dark wraith who deserved to live no more than even Sirius Black. I was more evil than the werewolf. 

Mocking words fell from my lips that condemned him, even when I should and was condemning myself. 

Lupin should have known that Black would have never accepted the two of us. Never. Ever. 

But I was a fool. Trusting him. Trusting my own blasted feelings. I should have known that feelings are _subjective_ and can be easily swayed by pressure from ones friends. Especially ones like _Potter_, and _Black_, and yes, even Evans. 

We didn't speak after that. It had been years since we've even seen each other and then at the bloody funeral, I had to bump into him again. After all those years. We had gazed at each other like sentimental fools and for one traitorous moment, I had wanted to gather him in my arms. 

He looked different. Older. Tired. More akin to me.

I didn't like it. 

But I wasn't there for _him_ – no, never again – I was there to look at James Potter in the face (perhaps grave) one last time and imprint those damning words, those senseless letters carved into rock. I wanted to look at those stones and burn that image of them into me. I needed to have those slabs of cold concrete pressing on my mind at all times. 

I deserved it. 

I had caused them to die because I had been idiotic enough to believe they were safe. That they were safe with Sirius Black. I was a fool. Bloody fool. 

I had let him, when I knew, I had let him kill James and Lily… and I left that child, that boy, that _Potter_ with no parents, no family, nothing. I had seen the baby that day and I wondered, lurking into my own dark shadows, how he could still be living when even the killing curse had been thrown at him. I had watched him and his 'family' – horrible beasts – attend the funeral that had guaranteed their safety. 

And I knew that someday I would have to face him, face him with the inner knowledge that I was partly responsible for causing his lack of parenting in the future.

If there were a God, I would curse Him now. Destiny, fate, fuck it all. 

Then there were the trials. I would laugh if anyone had suggested that I would get off with shining glory, a badge of honor, even perhaps a thank you. None. 

For who would sympathize with a Death Eater? A monster. A creature of hellish damnation. 

And no one, no one at all, knew about my defection – sneer – from Voldemort's side. Only Albus protected me, regaled everyone about how _brave_, how _self-sacrificing_, how_ justified_ I was in using those Forbidden Curses in reaching my goal. He argued that yes, I had committed countless crimes, and yes, I normally would go to Azkaban. _But think of what he went through! _

Yes, yes, yes, yes. All that I went through was not enough for the – sneer – people to understand. They insisted on ostracizing me even as I returned to society. My only hope was Hogwarts where I continued the subject that had started this all. Potions. Helping Lupin with Potions. 

Sirius Black. He ended my usefulness. Because of his betrayal, all was ended and lost. My job as the spy, the double agent, the back-stabbing traitor who couldn't even succeed as a Death Eater, was over. 

Through. 

The end. 

Bloody hell. Not the end. Voldemort is still alive out there. Somewhere. I'll go back someday, to face my old _Master_ and once more poisonous lies will spill from my lips. 

But, why does it matter?

They're dead anyhow. 

~*~ FINIS ~*~

Now, you all know that Severus Snape is my absolute favorite character, right?

Of course you did! ^_^ No one can beat him in my heart and nothing gets me more pumping into Harry Potter mode than a good fic of Severus Snape. 

I thank those who have e-mailed me and expressed sympathy for my grandfather. These last two weeks have been weird, but bearable. I think I've accepted it completely and I'm just enjoying the time I have left with my 'grand pappy'. 

On a happier note: I've finished part 2 of "Her, Amid The Slytherins" and halfway through part 3. Just waiting for my sissy to beta it and for myself to do a few corrections. 

Also, to plug several other people's fics, because I love these stories so much and I want everyone to read them too. None of these authors asked me to do this and no one even knows; I'm just doing it 'cause they're so damn good. 

RaspberryPele: Memento Mori

Priestess of Avalon: Nemo Me Impune Lacessit

Her2eternity: Harm – Part of The Lover's Quartet. This one is my favorite of the four parts.

Obake - All Torn Down

VanityFair – Love Under Will

Antenora – The Losing Side

Kaz – Falling Further In

These are new and fairly new to ff.net, but their writing, well, let's just say all three astounded me into silence. (For those who know me and also know how chatty I can get, you see the implications). I've already slathered praise on them through reviews, so I just want to give them a bit of 'free' plugs. (When I say free, I don't really mean _free_ because those stories alone are enough to make me talk on and on and on and on and on.)

Remember; you will lose nothing from reading. But you may lose a lot by not taking a chance. ^__^ Beware warnings though. Some get down and blackly serious. Especially "Harm". Read that one with a tissues nearby. Lots of them.

Thanks to all the reviewers!

Bluemeanies: Thanks! I always get a giddy feeling when someone compliments me… it's like an all-natural high. ^__^

Priya-chan: Don't worry. I intend to end this series with Sirius. 'Cause who's more affected by James and Lily's death then Sirius himself? He spends twelve years in Azkaban. He's on the run. He knows the real traitor but no one else will believe him. It's quite sad. ^__^ Thanks for reviewing!

Lee: Agh! Good enough to wait? That just made my year. I'm so pumped up now!

HPLover: Thank you! I'm happy to know that someone who's in love with HP likes my fic! I had been worried about backlash.

Blissful: I know. I admit to liking Remus better than McGonagall in the dark, secret part of me too. But I would rather vocalize for McGonagall because she doesn't get enough fic-time! Thanks for reviewing!

Demeter


	7. Sirius Black

**Title:** "The Survivors – Sirius Black" 

**Author**: Demeter

**Warnings:** Dark angst in Azkaban. Sirius POV. Post James and Lily Death. 

**Disclaimer:** All rights and privileges to Harry Potter are trademarks and property of J.K. Rowling, Scholastic, Warner Brothers, Bloomsbury Books, Raincoast Books and associated parties. The author claims no legal responsibility for problems associated with using this work. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. The original story and characters and relationships within the fic are copyright of Demeter.

~*~*~*~*~*~

They were dead.

Howling. 

Azkaban is cold. The prison lacks warmth. Lacks anything but screams. Yes, those are plenty.

Day and night here bleed into endless hours after another. What's wrong? Nothing's wrong. Only that… what was my name again? I… damn little traitor. I'm innocent! I'm innocent! I'm innocent!

I'm INNOCENT!

It was that rat! That traitor! He… what was his name? No, I know it! Peter! That fucking traitor! He was the Secret Keeper! I swear it! It's true! He was the one who told Voldemort about James and Lily and… Harry! Where's Harry? Where is he? I'm his godfather! I should be taking care of him! Give him to me! Give HARRY TO ME!

Cold.

Azkaban is cold and loud. 

I hate Dementors. 

James and Lily. They won't leave my mind. They keep crying. Oh, please stop crying. I didn't know. I really didn't know! I DIDN'T KNOW! That traitor! He was the traitor! He killed you! He betrayed you! I didn't, I swear I didn't!

_But you let him Paddy. You let him_

God, that's true isn't it? I let him be the Secret Keeper. I should have just kept my mouth shut. I knew it. I knew I would have done something wrong. It was always like that. He told me I would fall. That snake Snape told me I would fall as badly as him.

I didn't? No! I didn't! I didn't fall! It was that traitor's fault! Peter Pettigrew! It was his fault! All his fault! He tore them away!

They're moving away.

The Dementors are gone… until later.

Harry. Harry. Harry. Have to save Harry. Must save Harry. No, wait. Harry's safe. Dumbledore will have taken care of him. He would have. Yes, Harry's safe for now. With… someone. Yes, someone. I'm sure he's safe. 

For now.

Snape? 

Snape? What's he doing here? Why's he looking at me? Stop looking at me! Stop it! Stop it! I'm not the traitor! No! Stop! Leave him here! I need to ask him! Please, where are James and Lily?

Where are they? Where ARE THEY YOU SLIME?

_They're dead._

No, that's not true! James isn't dead! He promised me! He said it was true! He said it was all right! Peter would save us! Peter will protect us!

No… wait. Peter… He's the traitor! Snape, come back here! Tell them! Tell them that Peter's the traitor! Please! Tell them that THAT RAT BETRAYED JAMES AND LILY! PLEASE!

Snape?

Snape?

Snape?

Snape?

Azkaban.

Cold. Dead. Alone. Silent. Loud. 

Screams. They always scream when they come. I've been here… how long? It's been very, very long. No… it hasn't. Only a few months. A few months. I've been here. I've seen people go past me. The Lestranges. Crouch… JR? What's he doing here? He was a Death Eater?

_So are you_.

No! I am not! I'm not a Death Eater! I'm not! They're lying, all of them! The Death Eaters are Slytherins! The Slytherins are Death Eaters! Not me! I'm a Gryffindor! I'm a Gryffindor! I'm a Gryffindor! I'm not a Death Eater… I'm not. 

Dumbledore?

Where's Dumbledore? He'll believe me. He will. He'll believe that we got to be Animagi during our sixth year… and Peter turned to a rat. Yes. A rat. I was the dog. Yes. That's right. James was the stag. He was the stag… and Remus was the werewolf. 

The werewolf.

Moony?

Moony?

Moony?

Where are you?

You have to get me out of here! You have to kill that traitor! You have to know that I would never betray James. I would never turn my back on him. I loved him. He was my best friend. He was my brother in arms. You know that right Moony? You have to believe me. I would never betray James Potter and Lily Evans.

Not Harry. I was his Godfather… remember Moony? Why won't anyone believe me? Why won't anyone listen to me? I told the truth! I swear I told the truth!

_You've lied your whole life. Why would you tell the truth now?_

No! I DIDN'T LIE! James! Help me! I didn't lie! I swear to you, I didn't lie! It's not like that! It was never like that! Peter. He was supposed to be there. He was at a safe house. He was the traitor. Traitor. Betrayer. TURNCOAT!

Prongs. Where are you?

Azkaban.

It's cold. Dark. Loud. Silent. 

I'm here. Because I'm a Death Eater. But I'm not. Not a Death Eater. So why am I here? Why am I here in this darkness? In this place? What's wrong with this picture? Shouldn't… no… shouldn't Peter be here? Yes, the rat should be here. Not the dog. The rat.

Then why am I here?

Death Eater. Betrayal. Somebody betrayed James and Lily. To You-Know-Who. I had thought it was Remus. Wasn't it Remus? He was the one who was supposed to betray us. The letter said so. The one I found. The one inviting him to join the Death Eaters. Yes… it had been Remus!

No!

It was Peter! 

Remus wouldn't betray us!

It… was… Peter. The traitor. Yes. Peter. Traitor. I. Innocent. I. Am. Innocent. I. Am. Innocent. I. Am. Innocent.

Icy. 

The darkness writhes with shadowy fingers and the laughter echoes over and over. The Lestranges won't stop laughing. They won't stop whispering words that I've betrayed the Dark Lord… no, I didn't betray him! I was never with him! I didn't betray the Dark Lord!

_Only we were true. We searched for our Lord._

I'm not! I'm not a traitor! It was PETER!

_Peter Pettigrew. The rat. He caused the downfall of Voldemort._

Yes! No! He wasn't that brave! All he wanted was to betray us! He didn't cause the downfall of You-Know-Who. It was… who was it… how did he die? I don't understand. Snape. He said… he said… Lily. Protecting Harry. James and Lily protected Harry. They… They're love protected Harry. The Killing Curse. 

_Avada Kedavra_

Yes… The Killing Curse. It saved Harry. It rebounded off You-Know-Who. And Harry's alive. 

Does he think I killed James and Lily?

He believes that I betrayed them… but I'm innocent! I'm innocent! 

I'm INNOCENT! It was that rat! That traitor! That Peter! He was the Secret Keeper! He told everyone that I was the Secret Keeper! I wasn't! We switched. We performed the ceremony quietly. Why… Why won't anyone believe me?

I'm innocent!

Innocence that's cost James and Lily their lives. No… that's not true. Not true. I didn't mean to. I thought Peter was safe. He was supposed to be safe. Right? He was _supposed to be safe._ This was Peter. Wormtail of the Marauders. 

He betrayed us. 

Peter betrayed us.

He betrayed _me_.

He wasn't my best friend. Mine was James. But… he was my friend. I loved him like a brother. I _loved him_. We had sworn to each other on the map. Sworn that we would remain best friends and true to each other. We laughed and agreed that becoming Animagi would be our crowning achievements…

And now.

Peter turned on me. On Remus. On Lily… On James. Peter, didn't you worship James? You…

No! I'm INNOCENT! Please! Believe me! Peter! He was the fucking traitor! You have to listen to me! I'm not! I'm not a Death Eater! It's that filthy snake, Snape, who's the Death Eater! He's the one! He's the black-hearted asshole!

Azkaban is cold. And dark.

Innocent. I'm innocent. 

But that doesn't do anything. 

Peter betrayed us… me. 

I'm in… Azkaban. With Dementors. But I have no more thoughts to give. They've taken them all away.

But I'm innocent. I'm innocent.

Yes.

Innocent.

And guilty.

My innocence condemns me as it saves. I'll leave. Someday I'll leave and I'll find Harry and explain to him that I didn't betray James and Lily. I didn't. I'll tell him that I love him and that he was my godson and that we should have lived happily together. I should have been there for him, taking Harry to the Platform Nine and Three Quarters. I _should have_.

But I'm not. 

I'm here.

Blind.

Dark.

Cold.

Gone.

Dead.

I'll find you Harry. I swear it. 

You're my life now.

I'll find you and protect you from everything in the world. Nothing and no one will ever hurt you as long as I can prevent it. I'll become the murderer everyone accuses me of as long as I can keep you safe. God, Harry.

Peter.

Remus.

Lily.

_James_.

_I'm innocent._

~*~ FINIS ~*~

Well, that's the end of the series. Thanks to all who have reviewed and stuck with me through these couple of months. Thanks to Gramarye, her2eternity, Incitata, Rae, Lee, Katherine, Lark, bluemeanies, Priya-chan, HPLover, Blissful, PrincessLesse, Nostradamus, Emily Anne, and Slytherin Mudblood. 

For now, I'm debating whether to continue with Arabella Figg or Mundungus Fletcher if they're explored slightly more in-depth during the fifth book. After all, they're part of the 'old crowd', so I'm assuming they knew the Marauders, Lily, and Snape well. But that's a long time off. 

One thing; I'm normally not a huge fan of Sirius Black. Far from it; I dislike him for doing what he did to Snape, whose place in my heart is firmly entrenched. However, as I was writing this part, I developed a deep sympathy for him. There were several times I had to stop writing because I was sniffling.

Why?

Because his life sucks. I've discovered that much of the attention is focused around his feelings on James and Lily and Remus… the subject of Peter within his mind is mostly ignored. But… I think he and Remus, during the third book when they wanted to kill Peter, were trying to avoid their emotions on the fact that they probably felt completely betrayed by Peter. Even if they hate him, they still mourn for the fact that he turned on them. 

Which, in my opinion, is rather sad.

And of course, the whenever he goes crazy, that's around the Dementors. His repeats on the subject of 'innocence' also refers to the book's reasoning where the thought that he was innocent had kept him sane because that wasn't a happy thought. (Kind of Peter Pan-esque, isn't it?)

Sirius had my empathy if not my love. That should be enough since I had started out only barely tolerating him. However… if someone cute plays him in the movies, I have enough superficial parts in me to fall in love with Sirius. ^_^ And he has a tormented past that just hits the angst-puppy in me. 

Reviewers:

Bluemeanies: Snape's my favorite too. By far. It's strange that I've fixated on someone so snarky… but I suppose that's understandable since I'm rather sarcastic myself too. Thanks for reviewing!

PrincessLesse: Perfect? *blushes* I don't think that amazing, but I'll lap up the compliment anyway. What did they say? It was a combination of all those… and the Shrieking Shack incident during their fifth year. I get very indignant about that particular 'prank' Sirius chooses to play on both Severus AND Remus. If Remus had killed Severus… he would have died also. If not by his own hand, then by hysterical mobs.

Lee: Thanks you! Hopefully, this part was as enjoyable as Snape's. He's a character I will probably never tire of writing.  Thanks for reviewing!

Nostradamus: I still think it's kind of an angst-fest… but my dealings is not with James and Lily themselves. They're purpose is supposed to be deified as 'perfect, beautiful people who are forever etched into history'. Giving them faults would have destroyed their purpose in the books (canon) and in my fic. ^__^ As for Peter Pettigrew, he's been growing on me ever since I wrote that chapter. I just can't believe that he was all that without James or Sirius dropping him. I mean… he was Wormtail. That means so much on so many levels. As for Minerva and Albus; of course. ^__^ I love Slytherins and any chance I get to talk about their grievances I will. And I love Snape best too. Our snarky Potions Master needs our love, y'know? ^__^

Emily Anne: I'm a sucker for the underdogs. If someone publicly declares a character stupid and everyone agrees, I like being contrary and becoming that character's fan. As for Petunia; yes. I believe that older sisters are always slightly jealous of their younger sister… especially if that sister is beautiful, smart, has a wonderful boyfriend and is beloved by her parents. ^__^ Sounds familiar, doesn't it? To me it does, since I have a younger sister who's almost perfect. Everyone has a dark side. It's just that most are afraid to reveal it. One reason why sometimes I get impatient with the 'good' side. If they can't admit to that darkness, then they won't beat the Death Eaters. Peter and Remus. The leftovers of the Marauders. It's always about Sirius and James. How about the two lesser members of the quarter? ^__^ Glad you liked it. As for Snape; I worship him too. Which is why I attack him at every change I get. 

Slytherin Mudblood: I still love your name; it means so much on so many levels. ^__^ Least of all that you love the Slytherins. *cheers* Always a pleasure to write something you enjoy. This series was my baby until "Her, Amid the Slytherins" came out. Now that it's done, I feel a bit sad. Well, thanks again!


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